When Uddhava went to Vrndavan he was so charmed by
seeing the Gopis' love, their devotion, their attraction, and their affection
for Krishna, that he said, "For life after life, I only desire one thing: I want
to become a speck of dust in Vrndavan. Not only that, I want to be one of those
who are worthy of receiving that dust -- the plants and creepers of Vrndavan --
and live here for all eternity. Here in the land of Vrndavan, Krishna has
performed His Pastimes, and His companions, the Gopis, also roam around here. If
I can be born as a small creeper so that I may get the dust of their lotus feet
on my head, that will be my highest fortune."
Such are the glories of Krishna, and the intense
feeling of separation from Him -- Vipralambha. Mahaprabhu has shown us the
highest limit of that Vipralambha in Sri Nilachala-Dham.
Sri Gadadhar Pandit, who kept Mahaprabhu in the
depths of his heart, and performed the supreme seva, also lived there.
Mahaprabhu took sannyasa and went to Jagannath Puri, and by His desire Lord
Gopinath became manifest. When you go to Puri you will all see Lord Gopinath
there. Both the feelings of Mahaprabhu and the feelings of Gadadhar Pandit were
described in a beautiful sloka by our Srila Guru Maharaj.
nilambhodhi-tate sada sva-viraha-ksepanvitam
bandhavam
srimad-bhagavati katha madiraya sanjivayan bhati yah
srimad-bhagavatam sada sva-nayanasru payanaih pujayan
gosvami-prabaro
gadadhara-vibhur-bhuyat mad-eka-gatih
The lotus feet of Gadadhar Pandit are our sole
treasure. He resided by the ocean of Vipralambha which was manifest by his life
and soul, Lord Gauranga, who took everything from him.
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Sri Sri Gaura Gadadhar, worshipped since the time
of Mahaprabhu at the Sri Sri Gaura Gadadhar Mandir in Champahati, Sri Nabadwip
Dham.
'The lotus feet of this Gadadhar
Pandit are our ultimate destination. Our worshipable Deities are Gaura-Gadadhar,
and the supreme demonstration of their Vipralambha was seen in
Nilachala-Dham.'
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Mahaprabhu was suffering separation from Krishna,
and His feelings of separation were so intense, that sometimes His body became
elongated, sometimes He retracted His limbs like a tortoise, and sometimes His
joints became separated.
So Mahaprabhu, Sri Krishna Himself, suffered intense
separation from Krishna, and He was enlivened by hearing topics about Lord
Krishna from Gadadhar Pandit. When a person is in intense grief, what does he
do? He becomes blinded by his grief, and he cannot decide how he will find some
peace, so he drinks alcohol. Sri Gadadhar Pandit provided such intoxication for
Mahaprabhu by enlivening Him with the intoxicating topics of Srimad-Bhagavatam.
This is how he served the Lord of his heart.
And how were Gadadhar Pandit's own feelings of
separation? He is seeing that his beloved Lord is in front of him, and his Lord
is suffering so intensely that He is becoming unconscious now and then. All the
eight symptoms of separation can be seen in His body, such as perspiring,
trembling, tears, becoming stunned, changing of bodily colour, etc., but there
is nothing he can do about it. Lamenting this, continuous floods of tears flowed
from his eyes.
Whenever Gadadhar Pandit read the Bhagavatam, he
became so mad with feelings of separation from Krishna that his tears would wash
away the letters on the page. The proof of this is, when Srinivasa Acharyya came
to him to study Srimad-Bhagavatam, Gadadhar Pandit told him,
"My dear
son, when I was reading Bhagavatam to Mahaprabhu, all the letters in my book
were washed away, therefore I cannot now read to you from this book. Please find
a book somewhere. Mahaprabhu instructed me in my dream, saying you were coming.
But you need to have a book. I have memorised everything, but you need a book
also." Gadadhar Pandit thus worshipped the Bhagavatam with his tears. Is it
necessary to have any ingredients to worship? One's own tears are the best
ingredients.
The lotus feet of this Gadadhar Pandit are our
ultimate destination. Our worshipable Deities are Gaura-Gadadhar, and the
supreme demonstration of their Vipralambha was seen in
Nilachala-Dham.
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